The New Dad and Horses
OK, so no one wants to take a train. Well I've been looking and I found something even better. Horses. A guy who's tank I do said we could use his. They're cheap, environmentally friendly, and they have huge schlongs. I did some calculating and I figured it would only cost us about $40 in hay and oats each way. We would save hundreds. I know what your thinking, "what if my horse gets sick ? I'm no horse vet." No you're not, but do you know who is. Jason. As long he goes we should be set. He should be able to take care of everything from a small cold to full blown horse herpes.
But most importantly, think how bad-ass we would look. Imagine this-"we ride into a saloon on the way. The townsfolk become silent as they stare at us with fear and awe in their eyes. Not a sound is heard except for the occasional sagebrush dancing in the wind. Provacitively I dismount from my horse. My leather chaps and spice girls shirt reflect the last rays of light from the sun before it hides behind the western horizon. The seven of us stroll to the front door while our boot spurs finally break the deafening silence. "Can I see your I.d. " says the one eyed man at the door. "sure" I say as I spit chew on his foot and reach for my six gun. We walk through the door as the one eyed man runs and hides like a little bitch in the out house. We spend the rest of the night bitch slapping anyone who even looked at us funny.
Our bellies warmed with whiskey, we retire to the stables where we reenact my favorite scene from Broke Back Mountain. ( R.I.P. Mr. Ledger )
The only downside to this is that we would have to take a month off work for travel time but I think it's worth it. Let me know cause I have to let the guy know how many horses. I got a white one His name is Geronimo and he don't take no shit from no one. Pick your horse soon so you don't get stuck with an ugly one.
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